CHUCK NORRIS
Chuck Norris facts approved by George Suhon:

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three
moves.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video
game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button
caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this
"glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1.
One roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris
lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly
destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one
building.